The Power of Asking for Help: Why It’s One of the Bravest Things You Can Do

This month, I’m focusing on “asking”.

Asking can take many different forms, such as: Asking better questions, asking for help, asking to seek clarity and understanding, as well as asking to learn.

In this post, the first in my series on this topic, I will be exploring the power of asking for help.

There’s a common belief many women grow up with—spoken or unspoken—that says, “I should be able to handle this myself.”

We’re told to be independent, self-reliant, and strong. And while those qualities are beautiful, they can sometimes lead us to an exhausting place—one where we try to carry everything alone, even when it’s too heavy.

But here’s the truth: asking for help is not a weakness. It’s a strength.

This is a concept I have personally struggled with all my life, in fact, it’s still a work in progress, so I’m going to say that again: asking for help is not a weakness. It’s a strength.

In fact, it’s one of the most powerful acts of self-awareness, vulnerability, and courage you can offer yourself.

Whether you’re juggling motherhood, a career, relationships, health challenges, or all of the above, knowing when to say “I can’t do this alone” can transform not only your life but the lives of those around you.

In this post, I’ll unpack why asking for help is so important, the barriers that hold us back, and how to start reaching out in a way that feels empowering—not shameful.

Let’s being by examining why asking for help feels so hard for women.

Even though humans have evolved to live in supportive communities, modern life has made self-sufficiency a badge of honour—especially for women.

Here are a few common reasons asking for help can feel uncomfortable:
1. Fear of Being a Burden
Many women worry that they’ll inconvenience others or take up too much space. We’ve been socialised to give generously but hesitate to receive in return.

2. Perfectionism
If you’ve been taught that your worth is tied to how much you can accomplish, asking for help can feel like admitting failure. Perfectionism tells us, “You should have it all together.”

3. Past Experiences
If you’ve asked for help before and felt dismissed, judged, or let down, it’s natural to feel hesitant about trying again.

4. Control

Let’s be honest—sometimes it’s just hard to let go. If you like things done a certain way, delegating can feel uncomfortable.

So now we have an understanding of some of the barriers that prevent people from asking for help, let’s explore some of the benefits of asking for help, such as:

1. It Strengthens Relationships
Connection thrives on reciprocity. When you allow others to support you, you create deeper bonds built on trust and mutual care.

2. It Improves Mental Health
Carrying everything alone leads to burnout, anxiety, and even depression. Receiving help lightens the load and allows you to focus your energy on what matters most.

3. It Builds Resilience
When you have a network of support, you’re better equipped to handle life’s inevitable challenges. Help can come in the form of advice, practical assistance, or emotional support.

4. It Models Healthy Behaviour
If you’re a parent, leader, or mentor, showing that you ask for help teaches others—especially young girls—that vulnerability and strength can exist together.

In a world that often expects women to be everything to everyone—caretaker, breadwinner, emotional anchor—asking for help challenges that unrealistic narrative.

It says:
“I am worthy of support. I do not have to deplete myself to deserve rest or care.”

When women ask for and receive help, they break the cycle of overwork and self-sacrifice. This ripple effect empowers other women to do the same.

So how do we ask for help in a way that feels empowering?

If the thought of reaching out makes your chest tighten, you’re not alone. But asking for help doesn’t have to feel awkward or guilt-ridden. Here’s how to make it a positive and empowering process:

1. Get Clear on What You Need
Be specific. Vague requests like “I need help” can leave others unsure how to respond. Instead, try:
• “Could you pick up the kids from school on Friday?”
• “Would you mind proofreading this proposal?”
• “I need someone to listen while I talk this through.”

2. Choose the Right Person
Match the request to the person’s strengths, availability, and willingness. A friend who’s great at organisation might not be the best person to help with emotional support—and vice versa.

3. Practice Receiving Without Over-Explaining
You don’t owe anyone a detailed justification for needing help. You are allowed to have limits. A simple “Thank you, that would mean a lot” is enough.

4. Offer Gratitude, Not Guilt
Let people know their help makes a difference—but avoid framing it in a way that makes them feel burdened. “I’m so grateful for your support” feels far better than “I’m sorry for asking.”

Now let’s consider when professional help is the best step.

Sometimes, friends and family aren’t enough—and that’s totally okay. Professional help is an incredible resource, whether it’s:
• A therapist for emotional wellbeing
• A coach for career guidance
• A cleaner for your home
• A babysitter for childcare relief

Investing in support services is not indulgent—it’s strategic. It creates space for you to focus on your priorities and mental health.

For me, outsourcing has been a game changer, despite the barriers I’ve had around this in my head.
When I get my house professionally cleaned, or outsource home improvement tasks, I gain hours back with my family, and feel lighter at work because I can relax knowing things are home are covered.

When considering what to outsource, I encourage you to start thinking about the things you don’t enjoy doing that take up time in your life, such as:
– Doing your taxes or accounting work if you have a business
– Cooking and meal prep
– Gardening and home maintenance – what are those jobs you NEVER seem to get around to?
– Don’t limit cleaning to your home either – you can also get your car professionally cleaned while you do the grocery shopping!
– There really is not limit to what you can outsource for your home and business. Check out websites such as Fiiver and AirTasker for examples of things people are prepared to do.

Hopefully now I’ve piqued your interest in outsourcing and asking for help, but how do you overcome the guilt of asking for help?

If you, like me, struggle with guilt when asking for help, remember this:
You give others the gift of giving when you allow them to support you.

Think about a time you helped someone you care about. Chances are, it felt GOOD to be able to contribute. The same is true when roles are reversed.

Here’s another helpful mindset shift: you are not asking for charity—you are engaging in the natural exchange of community. Today you may need help; tomorrow, YOU may be the one giving it.

Ok, now let’s break down asking for help into some real-life examples
Sometimes it’s easier to imagine asking for help when we see how it works in everyday life.
• At Work:
Instead of silently struggling with an overwhelming deadline, you might say,
“I’m feeling stretched thin this week—could you take on this section of the project so I can focus on X?”
• In Motherhood:
Instead of pushing through exhaustion, you might ask a friend or relative,
“Would you be able to watch the baby for two hours so I can rest?”
• In Relationships:
Instead of feeling resentful about doing all the chores, you might say,
“I need more balance at home—could we create a cleaning schedule together?”

What happens when you don’t ask for help:
Not asking for help doesn’t just make life harder—it can lead to:
• Burnout
You push yourself to the limit until you crash, physically or emotionally.
• Resentment
When you do everything alone, it’s easy to feel unappreciated or unsupported.
• Missed Opportunities
Help can open doors, introduce new ideas, and create possibilities you wouldn’t find alone.

Practical steps to start asking for help today:
1. Identify One Small Area
Pick one area of your life where you feel stretched thin and brainstorm who could help.
2. Make the Ask
Be specific, direct, and kind.
3. Notice How It Feels
Pay attention to how your body and mind respond. Relief? Lightness? Gratitude?
4. Build the Habit
This is key: The more you ask, the easier it becomes. Start small and expand over time.

Remember: You Deserve Support

You are worthy of help simply because you are human. You don’t have to “earn” it by reaching a breaking point or proving your worthiness.

Life is richer, easier, and more connected when we lean on each other.

Asking for help isn’t about weakness—it’s about WISDOM. It’s knowing that your energy, time, and emotional wellbeing matter enough to protect. It’s giving yourself permission to be supported so you can live, love, and lead with more presence and joy.

So, next time you feel that tightness in your chest, that voice whispering “I should be able to do this alone”—pause. Take a deep breath.

And remember: Strength is not in the struggle. Strength is in the asking.

I’ll leave you with this quote from Barack Obama:
“Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new.”